Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
