While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
