which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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