Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
