i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
