nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
