I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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