I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
