those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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