ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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