Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
