i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
