You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
