Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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