my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
