This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
