i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
