my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
