I wish i was in the wii world.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
