You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
