I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
