we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
