i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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