she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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