Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
