I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
