Pants 0. Shit 1.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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