another moral hangover. fuck.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
third nipple confirmed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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