Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
