Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
