Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
