i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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