Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
