WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
