Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
