I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Only a mothe r could love this liver
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
