what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
