You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
