Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
