She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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