I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
