Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
