well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
