i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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