i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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