oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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