I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
