I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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