I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
try to milk me bitch
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