Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
