.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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