His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
