when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
